from de la salle university
You’re never going to find someone like that person again. You may find someone better, you may find someone worse, but you’ll definitely find someone different. And when someone makes you feel as good – and as bad – as they can, you should hold on to that for as long as possible. Happiness is an incredible feeling, and if someone takes you to the most extreme points of happiness when you’re with them, you shouldn’t let them go. Because for every stupid fight over nothing, there’s a late night car ride spent singing and dancing your heart outs. For every angry text sent saying, “I’m done.” There’s a good morning apology text that reminds you why you care so fucking much about them. Even if you can’t stand to look at them at times, and those times will come, you should still understand how happy they truly make you and hold onto that for as long as possible. We live in a world where everything we do is judged, so finding that one special person who looks at you without judgmental eyes, and thinks that you’re a great person, is someone that you should cherish for as long as possible.
You’ll regret a lot of the time spent with them after things have been damaged beyond repair, but you’ll also cherish those new memories made. Break-ups are the worst, but it’s so hard to go cold turkey from a person who took your breath away for the last year. It’ll hurt waking up next to them, and knowing they’re not yours anymore. You know what’s worse than that? Waking up alone. It will hurt knowing that they’ve given their heart to someone else. Guess what hurts more? Knowing they’ve taken back the part of their heart they gave to you. Moving on is difficult to do, but I’d rather move on progressively than in one swift act of heart-wrenching pain. So if that person you once wanted so much still wants you, and you still have a place in your heart for them, open it up. Maybe you’ll realize that all those feelings you had are gone, maybe you’ll understand that you need this person in your life, maybe you’ll confuse the shit out of yourself, but at least you won’t regret not taking one – or 12 – more chance to see things can still work.
It hurts knowing that things are over. Someone has to move on first, but it’s not easy for either of you. It sucks going through a heartbreaking experience, and going through it a few times over the course of a couple of weeks, or months, is emotionally draining, but there’s still so much to gain fighting for a love you once had. Even if you know that the love has almost completely evaporated, you shouldn’t let go of something until it breaks you. Screw playing it safe, falling in love is dangerous in the first place. If you’re going to play a dangerous game, you better be prepared to get hurt, and probably pretty badly. If you’ve been hurt once before, don’t be afraid to get hurt again, because the happiness they’ll make you feel in between is worth it.
Once it’s completely over, then it is time to let it go. If there are no mutual feelings, if there’s no respect, no trust, no care, then you have to be ready to say goodbye. Don’t put yourself in an abusive relationship where you’re being used. That’s wrong. But if you both have some remnants of past relationship, then embrace those feelings until you crush them. Hold on for one more kiss at 8 a.m. before they go to work, stay for that one last time they hold your hand on a roller coaster, and don’t walk away from someone that you once held so highly until you know it’s done.
But maybe I’m wrong.
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.